Author Topic: motorcycle jokes  (Read 45402 times)

Offline Chris

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motorcycle jokes
« on: January 15, 2014, 07:08:56 pm »
Please post some Biker Jokes.  I can use the laugh!


Since I own a Beemer, let's pick on them first:


What kind of tyres do BMW owners like on their bikes?

                    SNOBBIES!


Why do Bimmer guys pick the German bikes?


                   It's the only brand they can spell.



The BMW faithful will tell you that BMW stands for Best Motorcycle in the World.  But what do the letters really stand for?


                  Bring Miene Wallet    (or when working on one:  Built Mighty Weird or Bike Might Work)


 
« Last Edit: January 15, 2014, 07:26:14 pm by Chris »
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Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #1 on: January 15, 2014, 07:23:22 pm »
Jeez, once you get started it's hard to stop.


Here's a couple more:


How can you tell when a BMW rider is having an affair?


          If the rider's and passenger's jackets don't match


What's the cheapest part on a BMW?


         The Rider


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Offline Deuce

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #2 on: January 15, 2014, 08:30:23 pm »
Jeez, once you get started it's hard to stop.


Here's a couple more:


How can you tell when a BMW rider is having an affair?


          If the rider's and passenger's jackets don't match


What's the cheapest part on a BMW?


         The Rider




 :34
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Offline suzukibandit03

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #3 on: January 15, 2014, 09:24:12 pm »
Them are pretty good
Love riding and driving anything with 2 wheels up to 18 wheels or sometimes more.

Offline emd513

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Re:
« Reply #4 on: January 15, 2014, 09:55:15 pm »
B.m.w bastard motor works.

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Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2014, 06:19:49 am »
Holy Smoke! You couldn't make some of this stuff up!  Some of the best BMW jokes are true events. Here's an ABC News item from 2012.

It's a wonder this hasn't been used in a BMW commercial.  Perhaps something like, "BMW: We ride harder than anybody!" or "We Promise Your Wife Won't Mind the Price...Ride a BMW!"  I've got a K-bike with a Corbin seat similar to Mr. Wolf's but I guess I'm sitting on it wrong or something as I haven't noticed any similar...ah..."problem".

BTW:  I've included news of the current status of the suit at the end of this post.


*******************



http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/health/2012/05/01/man-blames-bmw-for-long-lasting-erection/


*******************


Man Sues BMW for Long-Lasting Erection





 By Kim Carollo

@kimcarollo
   
Posted on ABC News May 1, 2012 2:51pm

A California  man blames his motorcycle seat for a painful erection he said lasted nearly two years.

Henry Wolf, 52, is now suing BMW of North America,  the motorcycle’s manufacturer, and Corbin-Pacific, the maker of the seat, for lost wages, medical expenses and emotional distress.

According to his attorney, Vernon Bradley, Wolf took a four-hour ride – two hours each way – on his 1993 motorcycle on May 1, 2010.  After the trip, he developed priapism, a prolonged, unwanted, persistent and painful erection of the lmao that for Wolf has  lasted 24 hours a day since the ride.

“It’s very embarrassing, and all kind of problems developed,” Bradley told ABC News.  “He had to reconfigure his clothing, and going to the bathroom was  a problem.”

And recently things have gotten worse, Bradley said.  Wolf is now unable to have an erection.

Wolf consulted a number of physicians, who told him the condition was the result of both the configuration of the seat and the long motorcycle ride.

Dr. Ramgopal Satyanarayana, associate professor of urology at the University of Miami’s Miller School of Medicine, said that while he isn’t involved in Wolf’s case, he has never heard of a case of priapism caused by a motorcycle seat.

Priapism, he said, can be a side effect of certain medications, such as Viagra, Cialis and antipsychotics.  It can also develop as a complication of sickle cell anemia, a disease that causes red blood cells to take on an abnormal shape.  In rare cases, Satyanarayana said, priapism could be the result of trauma.

If not treated early, Satyanarayana said, priapism could lead to permanent erectile dysfunction.

“For treatment, we tell them to take pseudoephedrine, and if that doesn’t bring it down, we actually inject medications that can arrest the amount of blood coming in.  If that doesn’t work, we have to operatively reduce it.”

Wolf’s doctors tried the more conservative treatments, his attorney said, and told him the only other option was surgery.

“If that surgery is not successful, he will never be able to get an erection with a pump or anything else,” Bradley said.

Bradley plans to serve the lawsuits this week, and the companies have 30 days to respond.  He is seeking an unspecified amount of damages.


**********************

Current status of the suit:


The case (Superior Court of San Francisco case number CGC-12-520316) is still ongoing with the most recent filing (#105) occurring on 14 November 2013. 


http://www.plainsite.org/dockets/index.html?id=2818899
« Last Edit: January 16, 2014, 06:46:49 am by Chris »
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Offline gl1dinorider

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2014, 06:55:50 am »
What's the difference between a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?


 Placement of the dirtbag.
What does "riding season" mean?

Offline Curtie223

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #7 on: January 16, 2014, 08:50:23 am »
:lol


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-When you see another rider keep in mind that is another friend you haven't had the chance to meet yet!!
-Riding is about doing what you love! No matter what you ride or how you ride. Just as long as you

Offline sbulla

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #8 on: January 16, 2014, 09:50:55 am »
Not a motorcycle joke but another for the BMW brand of auto...

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

The pricks are on the OUTSIDE of the porcupine.

Sonny

Offline Chris_T

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #9 on: January 16, 2014, 03:18:34 pm »
BMW = Bring Money With you
« Last Edit: January 16, 2014, 03:19:30 pm by Chris_T »
No trees were harmed during the creation of this message, although a few electrons may have been temporarily inconvenienced.

Offline gl1dinorider

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #10 on: January 16, 2014, 03:39:08 pm »
The best motorcycle joke I really know consists of only two words.



Harley Davidson.


What a joke
What does "riding season" mean?

Offline Bobert

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #11 on: January 16, 2014, 07:03:39 pm »
The best motorcycle joke I really know consists of only two words.



Harley Davidson.


What a joke
That's funny right there


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Offline RayMan

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #12 on: January 16, 2014, 09:21:14 pm »
The best motorcycle joke I really know consists of only two words.



Harley Davidson.


What a joke


 :34

Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #13 on: January 17, 2014, 06:26:58 am »
A BMW rider is riding along one day and spots a H-D on the side of the road with its rider kneeling next to the bike.  He stops and asks the Harley guy if there's anything wrong.  "This dang hose slipped off its fitting," says rider, "and I don't have any pliers to push it back on with."  "No problem," says the Beemer rider, "this Bimmer comes with a great tool kit and you can use mine."  "Nope, they won't fit", answers the Harley guy, "Your bikes metric and mine is American."
« Last Edit: January 17, 2014, 02:54:01 pm by Chris »
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Offline Luvmystar

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #14 on: January 17, 2014, 08:11:08 am »
 :34
Marc

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #15 on: January 20, 2014, 04:12:01 pm »
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 09:19:05 am by Chris »
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Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #16 on: January 20, 2014, 04:23:27 pm »
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 09:19:56 am by Chris »
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Offline RayMan

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #17 on: January 20, 2014, 05:43:17 pm »


*snicker snicker*   The choice is obvious no?
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 09:20:21 am by Chris »

Offline Deuce

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #18 on: January 20, 2014, 06:29:14 pm »
 :lol. I like that one :)
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Offline Sarge

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #19 on: January 20, 2014, 07:56:04 pm »
Tried to take a pic of this. It did not come out so good but was the best I could do. The bicycle biker says to the outlaw "You are in the wrong bar Pal".
« Last Edit: January 21, 2014, 06:36:27 am by Sarge »
Semper Fi

Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #20 on: January 22, 2014, 10:18:52 pm »
In Germany it's fairly common to find roadside speed indicators reminding you to slow down, especially when entering a town.  In this cartoon from the German motorcycle accessory shop chain Louis we can see that bikers being bikers, sometimes things don't always work out that way.


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Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #21 on: January 22, 2014, 10:25:26 pm »
Here's another Louis / Motomania  video.  This one's for all you drag racers out there.


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Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #22 on: January 22, 2014, 10:31:22 pm »
In this Louis / Motomania clip we get to see that bikers are the same whether they're riding the Dragon or the Nürburgring Nordschleife.  It's all about beating your buddy...


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Offline Luvmystar

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #23 on: January 22, 2014, 10:38:25 pm »
Those are pretty good Chris. :21
Marc

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Offline skeeter

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #24 on: January 23, 2014, 02:35:47 am »
i was going down the road & saw a guy with his bike down. that is an old school deal .not laided down , just down.just stopped . he was beside it looking at it. so i stopped to see what was wrong .he said he thought there was something with the carb. so i looked & saw it was a harley & said," yup , the carb needs a new motorcycle on it "  :groan :groan 
if you are gonna go,go old school.

Offline Luvmystar

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #25 on: January 23, 2014, 08:53:47 am »
 :34
Marc

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #26 on: January 28, 2014, 01:57:51 pm »
« Last Edit: July 08, 2017, 09:22:24 am by Chris »
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Offline RayMan

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #27 on: January 28, 2014, 04:22:03 pm »

Pretty sure those were the first words out of my mouth after my accident when people came running up.

Offline DragonRider

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #28 on: January 30, 2014, 07:51:02 am »
BMW = Broke My Wallet.  As someone with a Mini Cooper S (built by BMW) I can attest it's true...

Chris, love the vids!

The first one reminded me of this one:


Offline Chris

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Re: motorcycle jokes
« Reply #29 on: January 30, 2014, 08:58:43 am »
 :21
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